Reflections during injury recovery
In September of 2020 I suffered a knee injury during a training bike ride. It was not until June 2021, after months of struggling through physical therapy and two MRIs, that I discovered the true extent of the damage, a torn meniscus requiring surgery to fix. The sporadic entries below describe some of the ways I found both decline and growth during my recovery.
Know the way broadly (03 September 2021)
“If you know the way broadly, you will see it in everything” - Musashi
Every time I have the privilege to enjoy a long pool swim, I have time to reflect. As I am preparing for my first 10 mile open water swim later this Fall, the most familiar question that people ask me when training for big efforts returns, why?
That is actually a great question, and one I have not always had a good answer for in the past, at least one folks could connect with. Everyone has to overcome challenges in life. Whether big or small, physical or otherwise, there is always a why driving you. Since it is always personal, different people will articulate their why differently, but it always boils down to the same inherent drive to improve and expand oneself.
This led me to start to answer that question with another question. When was the last time you took on a challenge that you weren’t sure you could finish? When is the last time you sought out discomfort and broke the mold? The why behind this answer is what makes the connection. There is no real growth if you always stay comfortable and if you never move the finish line.
Utilizing this why to improve yourself is like a muscle, it will atrophy if you do not occasionally exercise it. Physical challenges are for most folks the easiest to practice this why, lace up some shoes and go for a long walk or run, drive to the gym to crush some weights, or put yourself through an intense yoga class. Keep moving that finish line further away from you. I choose to put myself through these types of challenges because it exercises my ability to fuel my why for challenges in everyday life, whether they are physical or not. It is this why that will take you from where you are now to where you want to be.
10% Rule (08 August 2021)
One year ago today, I was exactly one year away from my biggest challenge yet, my first 100 mile trail run at the Los Angeles Crest 100 miler. A biking injury, and the subsequent 8 months to figure out the actual extent of my injury, knocked me off path just a little bit. All this did was force me to make a whole new path. After starting to walk without crutches or knee brace 3 weeks ago, I am slowly building again, keeping it simple and following the ~10% rule, increase your total weekly workload by 10% (ish). Though I definitely didn’t predict where I am now a year ago, mentally I am treating this challenge the same as my 100 miler prep. This keeps me disciplined, motivated, and hungry to get better.
Never waste time or opportunity (25 July 2021)
I found myself in unfamiliar territory the past 4 weeks following my surgery, unable to spend any substantial time on my feet or on the bike, and forced to stay out of the pool completely. I spent a lot of that time instead to learn and grow in other ways, completing the Python for Data Science and Machine Learning course from Digital University. Python is one of the most common prototype languages used in the aerospace industry, so I was happy to add a tool to my toolbox to open doors in the future. Also learning more about the buzz surrounding ML was neat. This was my first course with Digital University and I was impressed. Time is our most valuable commodity, adapt and overcome, don't let it go to waste
Adapt and get after it (21 June 2020)
Two strategies I have used in the endless journey to become the best version of myself are changing my perspective on things I don’t want to do, and spending some valuable time with my own thoughts and away from all the distractions of modern life. Knocked out my longest swim to date at 3.5 miles before taking a mandatory 4 week break post-op.
Having picked up swimming 4 years ago as the necessary evil to get through before getting to the bike in a triathlon, I was never a huge fan of spending time in the pool. Struggling with my knee injury over the last few months, I have forced myself to get to the pool more frequently as it is now my primary form of cardio. It also provides one of the best ways to get away and spend some time inside your own head without any external distractions, to reflect on where you are currently in life and what you have to do to get to where you want to go. It is both a form of meditation and self-reflection, which we often don’t get the opportunity to do too much nowadays. Staring at pool tiles for 2 hours straight sure gets the creative juices flowing. Adapt and overcome, continue to get after it.
Gut Check (13 June 2021)
it has been 9 months since my biking injury last September and after working with a PT for months, my knee recovery plateau’d before taking a nose dive over the last month. This prompted a second MRI two weeks ago, which revealed several meniscus tears that had not been observed previously, requiring surgery to fix.
My biggest joy in life is to get outside and move, to explore and cover long distances under my own power, and to thrown down on some awesome fitness challenges with even more awesome people. That is how I thrive, socialize, and build my tribe. I have struggled not being able to do that for the past 8 months, but have learned how to see the good in that experience.
It is good to learn new skills and adapt your mission, to learn how to focus your energies else where
It is good to watch others succeed while you are humbly cheering from the sidelines.
It is good to remind yourself of a little bit of perspective, there are people who do a lot more with a lot less
It is good to finally know what is wrong with my knee, and to dedicate my focus on a healthy and successful rehabilitation
Your greatest accomplishments should never be in your past, but always in your future. Continue getting after it regardless of your current situation, adapt and overcome.
Work with what you have and expand your skill set (24 January 2021)
It has been 4 months since a knee injury threw me for a loop. This was my first major injury in the last 12 years and ground everything I loved doing to a halt. While the swelling has been reduced to almost pre-injury levels, my range of motion remains limited. I am almost at my max unassisted range of motion (how far you can slide your heel towards your hamstring without using your hands when laying on the floor), but am no where close to regaining my assisted range of motion (picture doing a quad stretch and assisting your heel as close to your hamstring as possible). This led me to switch my near term fitness goals to more of a hiking nature, as I felt like running would still be a while away.
One of the few activities I had on my calendar I felt like i could still participate in was the winter mountaineering class with Sierra Mountain International. I had signed up for this snow travel course not too long after my injury in September in hopes my knee would get better so I could tackle some Sierra mountain peaks at the tail-end of the winter season in early 2021. This was a perfect class for the state I am in, as we only hiked about 6 miles total throughout the entire day, and the cold was actually pretty nice to my knee. We learned some great skills, including advanced ice axe skills, rope travel and running belays, and fundamental snow terrain traverse (various types of steps and kicking motions). These were great skills that will certainly come in handy for future expeditions.
Humbling (07 November 2020)
There are few things as humbling as not being able to pursue your biggest passions for an extended period of time. It has been roughly two months since my biking injury and I am still working to regain full range of motion in my left knee. Since then I’ve had to miss out on climbing four 14ers, running the Grand Canyon rim to rim to rim, and today I was supposed to race Ironman Florida.
For a few weeks I let myself fall into a slump and temporarily forgot what I always preach, never quit! It is a difficult path back to recovery, and I am still far from being out of the hole, but I now see it as a positive challenge and a change for a lot of improvement. Prior to the injury, I had to fight for 1% improvements, now I have a blank canvas upon which I can dictate my recovery and re-invent my fitness, but all in due time.
Though it took me longer than I had expected, the main thing that got me out of the slump was perspective and adaptation. You have to keep reminding yourself that there are people in this world that do a lot more with a lot less than you have. And you have to adapt, and continue to use your time wisely. I have been fortunate to have to refocus my energies elsewhere by learning Spanish, building an absurdly large buffet side table, and starting to get into the pool more in preparation for my first marathon swim in 2021. Congrats to all who raced IM Florida today!
Initial injury (September 2020)
The weekend before Labor Day 2020, I suffered a chain malfunction while climbing a hill on my Cervelo tri-bike. I was on a 70 mile round-trip round from Acton to Santa Clarita, CA. The malfunction happened while, according to my Garmin Vector power meter, I was clocking about 450W of power. My left leg was at the top of the pedal stroke when one of my chain links snapped, effectively reducing my power output to zero in the time it took for my chain to snap. I felt a weird torquing sensation run from the middle of my femur all the way down my left leg. After walking around awkwardly (like we all do on bike cleats) to assess the damage to my bike and myself, i felt relieved that the sensation had been only temporary. I was double relieved that i had decided to expand my bike repair kit in anticipation of some bikepacking i had planned later that year, and had recently purchased a few Shimano quick links together with a multi tool that included a chain remover tool.
After fixing my chain, I triumphantly rode home, determined to not have the malfunction ruin my day. The real trouble started a few days later, mid work-week, when my knee started to become stiff and sore. A few days after that, the swelling began and did not let up, ultimately growing to the size of small cantaloupe (above).
An MRI two weeks after the initial injury showed a lot of effusion, but no soft tissue or other ligament damage. I felt relieved, no surgery needed. The prescription was anti-inflammatories and RICE for about a month to reduce the swelling, then PT to rebuild strength. I knew i had a long road ahead, but wasn’t expecting for the road to be as long as it would end up being. Eventhough you may not feel the chance of opportunity when you first start out on this road, this is exactly the type of situation where you can find growth.
