The Pikes Peak B2C2B traverse: Not what I wanted but what I needed

Attempt #1 (30 September 2023)

Misogi is an ancient Japanese practice where every year you do something so difficult that it has an impact on you the other 364 days of the year. On 30 September 2023 I took on my misogi, attempting to complete the Barr to Crags to Barr (B2C2B) out and back traverse for the first time. This challenge involves connecting the Barr trailhead on the East side of Pikes Pike to the Craggs trailhead on the West side, involving a double summit, 37 total miles, 23,700ft of elevation change, and a whole lot of fun.

Misogi is a challenge that scares you, something you are not sure you can finish, with success being anything but a guarantee. It doesn't have to be physical. Misogi could be starting a businesss or writing a book. Through exposing yourself to such a degree of voluntary struggle you become more resilient to the involuntary struggle that will inevitably come up in your everday life, Misogi will build calluses on your mentality

Going in this challenge scared me, especially the descent of Barr trail after the second summit which was the most difficult portion of my previous single summit via Barr trail. To add an additional 13.3 miles and 10,000ft of elevation change to the equation meant I was not sure if I was going to finish this when I set off at the Barr trail at midnight. That became reality when upon reaching my second summit after 14.5 hours and 17,400ft of elevation change, I called it and ended up getting a ride down in style via the Cog train. I struggled with the amount of time above 10,000ft, my lack of strength and confidence in descending, knowing there was an easy exit, and losing the ability to compartmentalize as the day wore on and fatigue set in and became overwhelmed by the entire effort at hand. Although I did not complete the entire out and back I learned a lot about myself on that mountain, and it helped to reinforce a key aspect of my life.

One of the most common reactions I get from people is that they wished they had the time, the capability, the drive to embark on such an effort in order to build more discipline. While these efforts certainly build resilience, you dont build discpline during them, you only tap into it. Discpline is built day in and day out. Its built by cleaning the dishes or the house even though no one had to ask you, going to bed and waking up when you need instead of when you want, choosing the harder healthy diet over the easier fast food, making sure your breakfast is ready and your clothes are laid out the night before so you can make the most of your mornings, and striving to do your best at work every single day. The list goes on. This list will look different for different people, but it involves daily sets and reps, and you will know when you are on the path. The more you do what you need to do versus what you want to do, the sooner what you need to do becomes what you want to do. Before you know it, you will be looking forward to and planning your own Misogi.

Preparing for attempt #2 (planned for July 2024)

it didn’t take me long after quitting my first attempt at the B2C2B traverse to regret that decision. I allowed myself to quit because I felt tired and uncomfortable (which I see as more mental), not because I was hurting or running out of calories (more physical/primitive need). Once you quit something it inevitably reduces the resistance to quit in the future. Within a span of a month after the B2C2B I quit during two seperate attempts to summit Mt Almagre door to door, both on the mountain bike portion prior to even getting to the trailhead

Though I often rely on my past accomplishments to dig deep, those have a shelf life. I needed a refresher on how to suffer and how to refuse to give up at the first few signs of tiredness and discomfort. Since Hannah was born, I have appreciated the opportunity to continue to adapt in order to try and become the best version of myself every day. This in turn allows me to become the best parent I can be. I failed half of my door to summit to door attempts last year mentally due to lack of enough resilience and physically due to the lack of enough vert in my training. Failure exposes your weaknesses, which is a necessary process to become a better human.

After establishing some baseline mileage and vert in March and April the training focus in May is to cover at least 7500ft of gain a week. Spending quality time with Hannah before work is now the top priority, which means I do not always have the time to drive to the trailhead and hit the mountain before work.

I used to do everything in my power to avoid treadmills, but there is value in throwing on a hoodie, cranking one into max incline, and appreciating time spent in the pain cave. No music, no show playing on your phone, just inhaling discomfort and exhaling purpose, one step at a time.

Failing at the B2C2B attempt may not have been what I wanted, but it was what I needed.

Attempt #2 (July 2024)

A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to try again, and difficult challenges deserve difficult conditions. This was my first ever time starting an effort at 9pm, my first ever continuous effort over 15 hours, my first time at significant altitude this year, and my year to date elevation gain in training was about half of my number compared to when I started this effort last year. It was an excellent opportunity to learn how to not let those conditions dictate the outcome.

What I love about moving long distances in the mountains is that there are no sign posts telling you what’s coming up ahead of you. You have the opportunity to experience more highs and lows in a single day than you may in weeks or months. You need to be able to shake off periods of discomfort again and again. There are numerous ways to build a resilient mind, and this is a great way to do it. The mental muscle is our most powerful muscle. The way we choose to give energy, the way that we choose to focus, even the way we choose to ruminate is critical to how well we move forward

Last year I made this my misogi, ultimately quitting before starting the final 13 mile descent. This year it was a build up for bigger efforts. I had the privilege to do a year’s worth of thinking and reflection over those last 13miles. Practice using the space between your ears to create an environment you thoroughly enjoy, and your body will follow. Keep moving forward and over time the obstacle becomes the way.